Today is the 8th March 2023, also known as International Women's Day!
In honour of this day and to bring awareness to a much needed part of emotional healing, I am sharing some reflections on the generational patterns and emotional traumas that have been handed down specifically to women and girls.
For our whole lives, women are told a series of damaging stories, creating harmful narratives and limiting beliefs that keep us stuck. Even as young girls and teenagers, we look for who is the prettiest, who has the best clothes or the best body. We are pitted against each other, set up in a comparison trap, and encouraged to fight it out. Then we are left feeling isolated and lonely, because we can’t experience a deep and meaningful connection, for fear of being judged or criticised.
We have a series of expectations on us, and an entire world telling us what we can and can’t do, or who we can and can’t be. You have to keep everyone happy, and you have to take care of it all without a fuss. When are you getting a boyfriend? When are you getting married? When are you having children? If you dared to reject these cultural standards, you’re then questioned as to why. As if having autonomy and freedom to make your own life choices is a luxury!
We struggle to express our emotions, particularly rage, anger and shame, because we fear how we would look if we opened Pandora's box. If we do express these very valid and normal emotions, we are subject to a series of jokes about being on your period, or called a ‘psycho’. So it’s easier to just bottle it all up, plaster on a smile, and carry on people pleasing. We learn and adapt to keeping everyone else happy. We are taught to put up and shut up, to simply get on with it. Because that is the way it is, right?
We are too young, or too old. We are too big, or too small.
We are too ugly, or too pretty.
We are too loud, or too quiet. We are too much, or not enough.
As women who have experienced these issues for our whole lives, it's important to acknowledge that this wounding comes from our ancestors and has been passed down through generations. This is known as generational trauma. A woman who feels insecure in herself for all of these reasons above, passes these same fears and anxieties down to her daughters, and until we become consciously aware of the patterns taking place. Only when you actively decide to heal your emotional wounds and insecurities can you break that pattern from being passed on to further generations again.
BUT what happens when we decide to change that narrative?
What if we could collectively stand up and say we no longer believe or buy into those old shitty stories that keep us small?
What if we create a world where we uplift and support one another, rather than tearing each other down?
What if we all decided to take responsibility for our own beliefs and emotional wellbeing, finding healthy ways to express ourselves?
What if we could pave the way for a bright, positive and equal future for ALL women, of all races, religions and sexual orientations?
What if we dared to dream big?
On this International Women's Day, I hope that my message gets you thinking about how we can all work together to create a better future for every woman, everywhere. It all starts with you and the changes you make in everyday life. How can you advocate for yourself, as a woman? Or for our non-female allies, how can you advocate for the women in your life? As I proudly work with people of all genders, the gender-specific struggles that we all go through are extremely apparent. They all deserve attention and healing in their own ways. Yet on this day, for women specifically, it is so important that we acknowledge the generational, emotional traumas that we have inherited from our mothers, sisters, aunties, grandmothers, and ancestors before us. When we heal those wounds, we heal the world around us and future generations to come.
Simply by existing, we are open to scrutiny and criticism. A huge part of emotional healing is accepting that you cannot change the opinions that others hold of you. We seek out approval as a basic instinct, but what would it mean for you to give yourself that approval you are looking for? To flip the script and say that you are loving yourself, right here and now, exactly as you are today? Us women are absolutely amazing.
And it's about time we stopped letting the world tell us otherwise.
If you would like to know more about how to radically heal from your emotional wounds and limiting beliefs, you can book a free call with me here, or apply to work with me 1:1 here.
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