Happy New Year 2022!
Welcome to the second part of my New Year blog posts – if you haven’t already read Part 1, I recommend that you go ahead and do that here, so that you can reflect and release anything from 2021 first.
There is something about the New Year that always get me thinking differently.
It’s a fresh start, a new slate, an opportunity for change. Although really, we could choose to do this at any time of the year, and some people do (for example, “on Monday I’ll start taking my diet seriously again”) – but there is something so compelling about that new year energy. It’s not simply a new week or new month. So, as with every New Year, there comes a temptation to set resolutions, committing to change and promising that things will be different.
In my opinion though, resolutions are simply too vague. Telling yourself that you will commit to more exercise, less alcohol or a healthy diet, those are all great things... Yet how many times have they simply ‘poofed’ out of existence in the middle of January?
You see, I’m the type of person who absolutely loves all things organisation – creating lists and plans helps me to feel so much better about everything. So those pesky, ambiguous ‘resolutions’ don’t really do anything for me.
Instead, I like to set goals and intentions for things that I want to achieve. They both have a specific purpose, and I use them both in different ways. Let me show you how.
Goal-Setting
The benefits of setting goals for achieving a certain outcome cannot be understated!
Firstly, if there is something that you want to accomplish, begin by writing it down.
What is it? Why do you want to do this, what is your intention? (this is important for later on!) What feelings will you experience, once you have achieved this? What will you gain? Put a date on it and claim it as yours, knowing that you WILL make it happen!
Secondly, once we make the decision to aim for a particular goal, we must analyse where we currently are. I like to do this by rating my current ability or capability on a scale of 1-10. This gets me thinking about my areas of weakness, and how I can turn them into strengths.
Thirdly, I can then identify the actionable steps that I need to take, in order to improve and get where I want to be. Knowing the necessary steps to achieving your goal will help you to gain clarity, as it can be easy to lose focus on what you’re doing along the way. Also, when you reach a new step on your way to achieving your goal, it’s also positively reinforcing for your mind, so that you know you are on the right track!
Here’s an example of my goal-setting in action (this is purely hypothetical and in no way constitutes weight-loss advice):
Goal – I want to fit into X dress size, by X date.
This is because I want to feel confident and good about myself, particularly in my physical health and wellbeing, so that I will have more energy to start a hobby and do the things that I love. My intention, through this goal, is being able to enjoy life more.
Steps that I need to take, to achieve my goal –
o I will eat x3 healthy meals per day
o I will decrease consumption of fast-food and takeaways (aim for x1 per month)
o I will go for a walk every day
o I will buy new clothes in my desired size
If you stick to each of the necessary steps that you have outlined, you will get you to your goal. Remember, that the steps can change along the way too. If you find that something isn’t working, or you want to try another method, adjust those steps accordingly. This is YOUR goal, and only you know what works for you.
One way that I hold myself accountable in sticking to my steps, is having them on display, somewhere that I will see it every day, so that I am reminded of what I need to do. My personal favourites are either on the wall in front of my desk, or on my mirror. Another great way is having an ‘accountability partner’, someone who checks in on you, to make sure that you are on track with your goals. Again, whatever works for you is best!
Setting Intentions
Now, coming back to that all important intention from earlier.
Although goals are brilliant, and very necessary in so many ways, sometimes we fixate too much on obtaining the end-result, which leads us to forgetting our “why” – the reason why we actually wanted to accomplish it in the first place.
When we forget our “why”, or don’t even take the time to realise it in the first place, this makes it far more difficult to follow through on our goals. What is the point in even setting a goal, if you can’t remember why you wanted to achieve it?!
“Well, so what if I give up on my goal now? It’s too hard for me to achieve… It doesn’t matter that much anyway… I’m fine just as I am, I’m okay with things as they are…”
However, that’s where setting intentions comes into play.
Your intention is your attitude, your purpose, your aim for WHY you want to do something.
So that even if you do feel like giving up sometimes, you can come back to that intention.
Let’s take the example that I outlined before, where the intention was “to enjoy life more”, as well as “feel confident and good about myself”.
If you can find a way to fulfil your intention along the way to achieving your goal, you will be reminded of your “why”. In this instance, although weight-loss is the ultimate end-goal, the intention of enjoying life more, is what will carry momentum through to achieving it.
Altogether, this highlights the importance of having goals, but also keeping the intention to follow it through. Now we’ve spoken about setting goals and intentions…
How often do these resolutions actually stick? Well, apparently a staggering 80% of us fail to keep New Year’s Resolutions. In all honesty, I’m surprised that figure isn’t higher!
So, why are we so likely to fail, and how can we increase our chances of success?
Well, I believe that is largely because there is some form of subconscious resistance present. In other words, your mind isn’t 100% entirely on board with what you consciously want.
Your subconscious mind enjoys safety. It likes things to stay the same because it knows there is no danger present. It is familiar, and familiarity = safety.
Ultimately, it comes down to the fact that we are still mammals, and our fight or flight response is firmly planted in our physiology.
If we were in the desert, face to face with a lion who wanted to eat us, our fight or flight response would activate, and it actually might come in handy!
However, this is why we have adapted to stay in our comfort zone, so that it stops you from walking into dangerous situations (like the lion in the desert). In that comfort zone, it is familiar and safe, nothing ever changes.
In the context of wanting to change your behaviours… Your subconscious mind will try to self-sabotage you, by keeping you in your old habits and limiting your growth.
If you want to expand beyond your comfort zone, and make your dreams a reality… it’s time to break the cycle.
With this knowledge, we can work on consciously overriding our subconscious mind.
Here are my steps for doing this:
Notice whenever the self-sabotage kicks in.
Said that you were going for a run, but now it’s cold and rainy and you don’t feel like it?
Or you promise yourself that you will go tomorrow morning instead?
I call bullshit!
Whenever this happens (and it happens to all of us), simply notice it. Don’t beat yourself up or be critical, but acknowledge its presence. The self-sabotage or resistance to change is there for a reason, so now we are going to communicate with it.
Ask yourself: Why am I self-sabotaging?
There will always be a reason behind it, so keep asking yourself “why?”, until you get to the bottom of it!
One of the biggest reasons for self-sabotage that I see in my clients is fear. It might be fear of the unknown, fear of judgement, or even fear of change – because they are subconsciously fearful of how their life will change, when they change as a person!
Again, it all comes down to our mammalian mind trying to keep us safe.
Then ask yourself, what would I prefer?
You consciously decided to pursue this new goal for a reason and set your intentions, whatever that may be for you. Take a moment to remind yourself of your “why”. Absorb all of those wonderful feelings that you will experience, once your goal has come true.
Now it’s time to decide whether you would prefer that, or whether you are happy to continue with your old ways, staying in your comfort zone.
This is peeling back built up layers of conditioning, as you re-train your mind in what you really want to achieve.
In Summary
As we say goodbye to 2021 and collectively hope for a better 2022, take a moment to really be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. Even if all you did was survive and make it through – that is enough. In spite of the external circumstances, and in the face of more uncertainty yet to come, all we can do is our best. So continue to do your best, set your goals and work towards them – I will be here, rooting for you every step of the way!
If you want a little help in realising your goals, and you are ready to make your dreams come true in 2022, please get in touch with me and let’s find out how we can do just that!
Love and Light,
Amelia x
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